Let's all be random, shall we?

Ranting

Fanfiction Peeves


Because I need to collect these and express them in a more effective way than ranting at a quickly flattening can of cream soda.

1) Lying Reviewers

When a really bad fic has a completely disproportionate review count. Especially when they’re all positive. >:C

 

2) Terrible Capitalization

Why are your “I”s dotted? I was certain that was a period. Why is there some convoluted geometric sequence in the seemingly random capitalization?

3) Emoticons

What are you doing. It is proper writing, not chatting on skype. If you can’t describe ^w^ properly, that should tell you something.

4) RP A/Ns

Stop talking to your characters, especially in the terrible script RP format so often applied.

Aurua: What, but I thought you liked talking to me? WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN? QQ

Maya: Holy shit, all the OOC. Hold up… I’m speaking to a figment of my imagination. *runs off sadly*

Maya: *comes back* Aurua, move to the next one. *rushes off again*

5) Self Insertion

There are some fandoms utterly plagued by this for no reason at all. Most of the time, it’s some sassy modern minded female that has the same skillset as the characters.

Of course, there is no alteration to the storyline, nor relationships.

6) POV Hopping

WHO THE FLYING FU-

I mean, how do we get a emotional attachment to a character if you’re interrupting flow every 200 words to POV change?

6) Herding Sues

Because, apparently, if everyone’s a Sue, no one is!

This only works in certain settings, and most often, this is not done well. (We all know I love a good curb stomp battle, and generally OP and Godmoding from characters. I love them.)

7) Bolded Paragraphs

Just… No.

It burns my retinas (or what is left)

8) Text Walls

I can’t figure out where the next line starts by the time I’m 120 words in. Just unable to get through it.

Bonus tears if used in junction with 7.

9) Rebellious Attire

NO ONE. NO. ONE. WEARS BLACK CARGO PANTS WITH CHAINS HANGING FROM THEM, TRENCH COAT WITH LARGE BUCKLES, CHOKER, AND GOTHIC MOTIF T-SHIRTS AND STILL WALK AROUND A TRAIN STATION.

Oh my god, who does that except for the intellectually unsound?

10) Arbitrary Foreign Language

I once witnessed a fanfic set in reality AU (aka, Hunter X Hunter verse) where a tribal people used Japanese honorifics.

And injection of Japanese (and others, but my fandoms are anime ._.) into English speech when it is understood they are speaking in native tongue when English is used.

I’m not against using random languages in fics. After all, I’m totally in love with a vampire who swears up a storm in Romanian and no one understands anything he says when he does.

11) Misusage Overdose

I saw some pretty terrible uses of “vis a vis”.

T’was accentuated by it’s application seven times in 8000 words.

12) Obscurity Overdose

“Akimbo”

I saw this used properly, but way too much. It’s too uncommon a word to use so much. Geez. Twice in a paragraph is horrifying.

13) Thought Indicators

/THIS INDICATES THOUGHT/

\THIS INDICATES MY DISPLEASURE\

|THIS INDICATES FLOW DISRUPTION|

14) Misfitted Naming

Because in ancient China, who the flying flip names their child Alexis?

And, “Alexis” was related to canon, Liujing named characters.

15) Word Dye

Bluenette is not a word.

Nor is pinkette.

16) Misleading Summary

The summary, beautiful grammar, passable syntax, interesting plot.

BAM!

The actual writing quality is so much worse.

17) Uninformative Summary

“Read and find out”

No.

18) Ready-Made Outfit/Ready-Made Outfit, With Sharpies

Her clothing looked just like ________!

Her clothing looked just like ________ but blue and a little ripped at the ends!

 

It’s like a template they’re getting this shit from.

19) Bashing

Don’t do it obviously, anyway.

Besides, 90% of the time, the descriptions of the the bashed character are just narrow minded conceptions by the author and are generally false or unproven.

I’d just kill them off quietly in a corner. They don’t deserve screen time anyway.

20) Terrible Usernames

I think BrokenDemonessAngel speaks for itself. If not, I will give you a lengthy paragraph on the shortcomings.

21) Egoless Summary

They claim to be bad at summaries, what is to stop them from being bad at other things?

And saying “first fanfic!” makes it seem like you’re a noob, rather than a newbie.

And just claiming that it’s not that good, how is it worth my time if you don’t believe in it?

22) Naturally Occurring Wigs/ Contacts

Shifting colours is not allowed.

Shades? Fine. Tones? Where applicable. Hues? In the same family.

Colours?

HELL. NO.

Special Mention to:

~ Outgrowing Fanfics

I remember loving a fanfiction, and loving it. Something that sailed a ship or dragged me into a fandom, or that one story that had me addicted to fanfiction.

And here I am, feeling old, and wanting to make myself feel all sentimental and nostalgic when suddenly, I realize that I can barely read the piece anymore. I’m finding flaws in the grammar, in prose, in plot. It all was so much more beautifully worded in my head.

So, feeling even older, I click the back button.

 

This shall be supplemented by subsequent posts as I come up with more irritants.

~Maya

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Stupidity…


Of people posting advice on the internet. I was searching around for a high school supply list (apparently, the US starts high school in grade 9. Where did the missing year come from? Are there only 2 years of junior high or something?)

Why are 10 pack markers recommended by people? You need them in ninth grade, you’re probably in art, and those need the 43-colour-brush-pen calibre “markers”. Pencil crayons for map assignments, perhaps, but usually you can pull that off with five colours (which I used pen for, since an outline style of colouring is acceptable).

And a graphing calculator.

Bitch, you don’t need a graphing calculator till grade 10 (When high school starts in Canada). I find it hilarious that the person who suggested this couldn’t spell, at all. And grammar was tortured and spat out.

Anyway, that’s not the inspiration for the post, since lots of people on yahoo answers are routinely retarded.

But this legit looking site was being stupid beyond belief.

“Eliminate the guesswork by getting a list from your child’s teacher ahead of time or waiting until school starts to find out what’s actually required”

NO.

Just no.

Horrible idea. Besides, a high school student should be plenty aware of what they need. And God, here, High schools don’t even provide lists anymore, and dammit, you are NOT going to bother a teacher just because your brain is incompetent.

And, crafts? In high school? What?

afakc;lsdkczmsp’

~MayaYume

 


Awkward Timetable Much?


Because we got ours in the mail a while ago. And I was so damn confused on how to read it; but realized it was the school trolling me.

Everyone else had very normal looking schedules, with the blocks all neatly lined up, easy to read. (Though they still suffered from confusion; which further confused me because they had no reason to be confused.)

Guys, I can’t, I just can’t.

Apparently, I get almost half the credits I need for graduation in grade 10. Awesome. 😀

With all my spares, if I tuck in another 5 credit course, I get 51 credits, which DOES put me over half. BUT, with all that spare time, I can get ANOTHER one.

Hmm, Bio and Chem and leave Physics 20 and Bio and Chem 30 for grade 11? And then do a bunch of university stuff in grade 12?

Sounds good, but that gives me 9 hour days 4/5 days. WHICH IS CRAP. QQ

 

(BTW, LOL WEDNESDAY IN 2nd SEMESTER. DOUBLE MATH,  LA, AND I’M GONE.)


Okay, I Lied


But this has to get out there.

I really hate when I see something that was utterly innovative at the time it was first conceptualized, but have been destroyed by the sheer number and quality of imitations. I would read something that had a scant few chapters out, leave and forget about it, come back in a year and see what I loved about that one work mass produced!

It hurts, since I read a few of those stories, my original inspiration became something that I couldn’t swallow. Looking around, there are so many things that have been copied so much that modern viewers dismiss the One That Started It All as a Been There, Done That.

I saw this quote from somewhere, and when I find where, I’ll link.

“What’s the deal with Hamlet? It’s just one famous line after another.”

~Chew on that 「MayaYume」